What To Do When You Don’t Know What To Do

Days bled into weeks and sometime months after my daughter died. Often I’d find myself caught in the trap of the couch or turning round and round in the kitchen; it was like I was short circuiting.  I mentioned it to my friend and she said that maybe a list of things to do when I didn’t know what to do would help me get unstuck. Here is the list that I had posted up on the fridge. There were many times when I was stuck in bed and heard it call to me from the kitchen. I have to say that this was the silliest but most practical tools that helped me through the toughest parts of grieving.

• Let yourself cry
• Go for a walk through the neighborhood, on the beach, through the harbor, in the mountains.
• Call a friend
• See the sun
• Go for a swim
• Read
• Write
• Garden
• Quilt
• Get a massage
• Go out for lunch
• Get a pedicure
• Make a salad/popcorn
• Drink lots of water

Everyone has different needs, write down what you think will help you to shift your thinking.