Sometimes it seems like I need to take care of my friends around my child’s illness.

Set Boundaries

Do not take care of anyone except your immediate family. Often caregivers find themselves taking care of and protecting extended family members, friends and neighbors who mean well but are simply a hindrance. Do not fall into that trap; you do not have to “be there” for anyone except your child and your immediate family. If you find others want to come over and visit and you don’t have time for that just tell them. When they give you counsel or tell you about horror stories about others with a similar diagnosis, don’t listen. Cut them off and walk away. Protect yourself. Often people not in the situation think you should be reacting a certain way and when your reaction is different they suggest you are not handling things properly. Ignore them. When they tell you they are worried about you, smile and say thank you. I appreciate that and walk away. If the same concerns are coming from those closest to you or your situation, though, stop, listen, and let them help.

Just like your child’s illness, there will be an ebb and flow of caregiving. Be prepared to change your course to meet the changing tides. The best way to do that is to prepare as much as possible. Remember when you find yourself sprinting to slow down the pace for the marathon.